I thought we had plenty of time


I was fooling myself

Thinking the snow man I built would weather the changes


But now I am erased


Just a puddle with a wet scarf


No longer a daughter if she doesn’t remember me


I wanted more time to be me before I was an orphan


More technically I am motherless


In a single moment I am evaporated


She was talking about me but I was in the room


Sitting on her bed like a ghost


Reminding her that I loved her


She thanked me


I wonder why certain things stick with her in that dementia brain

“It’s good the dog’s not fat”

“I worked with her when I was teaching”

“Your father forgot to take out the trash”

“She’s always stealing my favorite sweater”


But my importance


The essence of being a daughter is lost


Once apart of her body


But now, time slips through my fingers


The soft whooshing and delicate feeling almost a tickle


She was a placeholder for “Mother” for a long time


I didn’t rely on her for comfort or advice


Her counsel was not sought


She was too difficult a personality to navigate so I used distance as a buffer


But at least she was someone I could point to


A living example of my lineage

Proof of where I fled from


But she is not mother anymore


And I am not daughter


It's a blip on my personal resume


I hope at least I was a good one

She used to joke that she was disappointed I wasn't a better shopper

Since she was a champion at it


She told me once when we were disagreeing that “I don’t know where you came from. You are so different from me.”


I came from you, Momma


Different terms define me now

Wife, step mother, Dog mom, artist, writer, friend, sister


Mother and daughter

Their time has expired


27 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All